Nancy Love’s Weblog

I am 72. This will be my 72nd Christmas. WOW. When I first heard that phrase, I was very young, in my 20’s, teaching, raising kids in a constant state of busyness, helping others, mostly children at the time, whenever and wherever I could. Breathing room and thinking and planning happened a day at a time. If I were lucky, then I could maybe look ahead a week or a month, marking occasions that needed preparation and chunks of time. I had no life path or a firm grip on what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was a human doing, not a human being. Life was a glorious rush from one day to another. I was taking it as it came, doing the best I could with what I knew. Life was full. Joyful some days and tragic others.

Putting one foot in front of the other was working for me. When I heard the line about the first day of the rest of your life, it slowed me down and helped me think about the future and not just the present. What did I want to happen? How could I get there? I loved teaching and coaching, and I still do. Where I found joy was in writing. I could teach and coach and not even be there. Writing would allow me to spread the word so that I could share any wisdom I had gained. I started journaling, teaching myself through the written word. The patterns that emerged from daily entries allowed me to consider options. Journaling is gift-giving to yourself. I hope you try it. It has added focus to my life for sure, and it may do the same for you.

Now I find myself here on Tibbs Eve, the Newfoundland day to enjoy friends before the family events of the next few days, realizing that I have fewer DAYS where I might begin again ahead of me than I have behind me. Remember that words are your friends. Use them over the next few days to remind people how important they are to you whenever you can. I am writing to you, my friends, to let you know how important you are to me, to wish you a Merry Christmas and to thank you for reading Love Notes.

Happy Tibbs Eve. And remember: Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life.

Hey, everyone.

Follow me here for my next adventure. Love Notes is my page on facebook where I’ll be sharing my love of writing, excerpts from my books, and helpful tips for managing relationships at home and at work.

The new book, The RISK You Should Take, is out and available on Amazon in 3 formats. https://a.co/d/hObrR3E

More information to follow. Hope you enjoy this holiday season with friends and family.

Dr. Nancy Love

October 2025

It seems over the years, there is a certain ebb and flow to my blog writing. I apologize for that and would like to express my great appreciation to those of you who have stayed connected. It is time to start again.

I have been writing for the past couple of years. The new book is called RISK: Relational Intelligence, Skills and Know-how. It is being published on Amazon’s Kindle, and I will let you know when it comes out. The intended audience is leaders in small businesses, but it is just as easy to apply the content to mediators or leadership in any larger organization as well. It focuses on how to structure conversations for change, a favourite topic of mine.

As the title implies, Relational Intelligence is the topic at hand. I like the idea of helping people improve their social skills and their relational intelligence quotient. This book also includes all of the PULSE acronyms that followers are no doubt familiar with and focuses on the underlying skills that give the PULSE frame its strength. Gentle Honest Open Specific Talk or the GHOST protocol is examined in detail, as are Hush, Empathize, Attend, Reflect and Trust or HEART, Paraphrase, Open Questions, WAIT, Empathize and Reframe, the POWER skill set.

Relational Intelligence for me is based on Appreciative Inquiry, Psychological Safety, Positive Psychology, the Enneagram, Neurosciences and in particular Neuro Linguistics or the use of language. After all, PULSE stands for People Using Language Skills Effectively. The PULSE Frame invites us to structure our conversations. It is a discovery, not an invention. It mirrors how good conversations proceed. Prepare for the conversation by outlining the purpose, the process and the protocol. Uncover the circumstance or the title of the conversation. Learn the significance of the topic to discover the criteria for a better future. Search the possibilities for a conclusion that benefits everyone. Explain a plan of action moving forward. Once you become familiar with this PULSE approach to conversations, you find yourself using it everywhere. Difficult conversations become easier. Relationships can be strengthened, rapport and Trust built, key elements that improve RIQ.

Starting again is not exactly what is happening. PULSE has always been a journey. Just wanted to let you know that the journey is not over yet.

Take care.

It’s January 20, 2024. In my 71st year, my life is good. I look back on things that have happened with a different perspective, and I find that there are opportunities not taken that might have changed the course. I have met with the communications departments of large national companies and went ill-prepared for the meeting, not interested in the gig. I have joined golf clubs and country clubs and have not taken full advantage of the schmoozing opportunities to find interesting and lucrative work. I have followed my instincts and I have ended up in a great place with no regrets. Introspection is good but when you are out of the industry and enjoying retirement, it can be humbling. My accomplishments are modest. I hope that I have made a difference in some people’s lives and that I can continue to do that in this next phase through writing and blogging and creating online learning experiences, and videos that will last forever. This week I sent the final content pages on Relational Intelligence, Skills, and Knowledge to Andrew, at At the HELM. Now I wait. I remind myself that it’s a draft. That is written on my whiteboard. “It’s just a draft.” It took six weeks to go through the library of my life’s work, to sort out the pieces that would fit, to write the pieces that were more suited to a nautical theme and to let go of the draft. Intellectually and emotionally the experience could have been draining and at times I think it was. Mostly it was humbling. To review ALL the I have written in that way lets you see your contribution. I am not finished. I am excited for RISK to find a following. I believe there is a book there and I know that I am in a place where I can review Mapping the Space Between Us and prepare to publish it. That was another missed opportunity. It needs finishing. With a little help, I can meet my new self-imposed deadline … June 2024. Wish me luck and poke me once in a while with a gentle reminder to keep the blazes at it.

Somehow 2024 seems like a long time in the future, yet here we are. I remember when 2020 seemed a very long time in the future.  What catches me is that 2020 happened 24 years AGO. Hard to believe when you’ve lived through it all. Changes upon changes. Sigh.

Norm and I had COVID over Christmas. What a drag. We were both quite sick and are still not at 100% recovery. It wasn’t just us.  Many people spent the Christmas season fighting the many variants we have come to know. I’m not sure what to think about that.  We stayed in Nova Scotia so that we could spend time with relatives here and eventually we got to do that.  Deliveries from masked friends and relatives allowed us to cook a small turkey and open presents on the 25th.

I also had time to spend on my decluttering project. I read and sorted old files, courses, and articles I had written, my life’s work. Much of it will be repurposed for the next project.  I think we have found a catchy name for it. “RISK Taking” or “Why take the RISK?” RISK is of course an acronym.  Relational Intelligence, Skills, and Knowledge.  This 10-module self-paced program will be coming to you in the new year through a partnership with “At the Helm.” https://atthehelm.ca I am excited by this new challenge. It is good to be back at the keyboard.

I do hope that all of you had a good holiday season and that you all have things to look forward to in 2024. Whatever it brings, this year provides new opportunities to start again, to reimagine what is possible for each of us. Look at what you want to have, be or do. See that others have or are or do that thing and ask yourself… Why not me?

I always resolve to be a better version of myself in January. My New Year’s resolutions list includes …

#1 Only write on the days you eat. #2 Zumba three times a week. #3 Eat only food that was once alive #4 Get lots of rest. #5 Feed your mind, heart, body, spirit, and soul daily.

That should keep me busy.  What does 2024 hold for you?

Take care, my friends, and Happy New Year 2024

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It feels like a miracle. So many people have reached out to connect. I am so grateful for all of the lovely comments on the Facebook page, the notes on LinkedIn and the comments on WordPress. I am overwhelmed by the response, and I would like to thank all of you. People from every aspect of my former lives are represented in the comments I have read. Halifax, St Albert, Grande Cache and Calgary are all represented. Colleagues and friends from teaching, mediating, curling, tap dancing, family, friends, clients, coworkers and bosses are all in the mix. I am humbled and grateful. Thank you.

That question … the one that starts with “If a miracle happened, how would you know?” … is a question I learned in the 90s and one that has stayed with me. I don’t often ask myself that question. I do not remember ever asking myself that specific one. It seems that Christmas is a good time of year to ask it. What would a miracle look like for me in this 60-10th year of life? A comfortable life? Check. A wonderful, loving partner? Check. A family who are happy and healthy and who make me very proud? Check. A project to work on? Check. Friends and family to play games, to laugh and tell stories with? Check. Someone to read my blogs? CHECK.

Life can be difficult. It can be therapeutic to consider how it could be better. What are the measures of wellness and happiness for you in your life? What is your miracle? Draw that picture and then ask yourself how you can get one step closer to that miracle. Check for evidence of the miracle. Make a list and check it twice. I have heard that others do that this time of year. (wink) (old school emoji) (smile)

Life is good.

What is your miracle? How will you know it has happened?